Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Motherhood + Work = Guilt

I know I'm not alone here.
There are millions of mothers out there that do what I am trying desperately to succeed in.
Work full time. Run a household. Be a loving wife.  Be an involved mother.  Take time out for myself to ensure that I am healthy inside and out.
And I am sad to report that I am failing.  Terribly.
The first six weeks of me working full time, the household was running like clockwork.
Things were done.
Family was happy.
I had some me time.
The last two weeks it has all fallen apart!
The house is neglected.  We seem to never be able to catch up and we are planning to renovate our bathroom, flooring and kitchen.
The kids aren't pleased.  Corey especially is starting to show signs of unhappiness.
And I am actually worried as there are mental health issues on his fathers side.
Something we are watching closely but not sure how to handle.
Something that breaks my heart as I don't understand it and it hurts to see my little boy so unhappy.
Something that I'm not sure if it's just ten year old attitude or something more serious.
And I cant remember the last time I went to the gym or spent some alone time with my husband.

And I know many of you are reading this thinking "that's my life" and yes indeed it is life.
But how do we, especially us mothers, live it without being awake all night feeling so guilty?
Guilty for working, the house being untidy, not having enough time to play, for not being able to make it to assembly at school, for being tired, for running out of milk and bread and only realizing at 10pm?

Here's the boy - too serious and sad lately.
But still amazing beautiful.
Have a happy day.

Ange xx


  1. Oh Ange - first things first - he IS beautiful! He looks very much like you.

    Secondly - I don't work full time and still feel like a failure so I do know exactly where you are coming from. As women, we put far too much expectations on ourselves don't you think?

    I choose to stay and spend time with my kids (thankfully I can) however we do sacrifice for being about to do that: our cars are old - and I mean they are not from the Year 2000 at all. We don't have a fancy schmancy house - in fact it really is so anti-fancy it is ridiculous. Zachary actually sleeps in a cool but old caravan!

    I could go on BUT I guess my point is - we don't need to have everything to be everything...that is what we women have to do - step back and breathe.



  2. It's really hard. I did it when I only had two children and I am glad I don't have to anymore. Good luck - I'm sure you're doing an amazing job.